Ream of Zebras

T.V. Restaurants I wish were real....

2011-05-06T22:14:00.001-07:00

No.1 "Der Waffle Haus" from "Dead Like Me"

A clip of breakfast at Der Waffle Haus

Green vinyl booths, wood paneling, plaid swivel chairs at the counter, cuckoo clocks on the walls, and the icing on top....

Ooompa pa-bavarian-ish music piping through the air.

The ultimate imaginary waffle/diner restaurant where I wish I could spend late nights and lazy weekend mornings.

Tables with constant supplies of ketchup, syrup, jam packets, and instant creamer joined by ceramic mugs of coffee and perfect Belgian waffles with chopped fruit and dollops of whipped cream. Greasy biscuits, cheese eggs, and bacon.

Mandy Patinkin (Inigo Montoya...of "You killed my father. Prepare to die" fame) grumbling and waxing poetic about greasy spoon classics.

Really. How could it get any better?

I could go on and on, and on about a restaurant that MGM has packed away is some storage facility.

Don't even get me started about how I feel about the show only having 2 seasons.

The closest thing I've got to it in real life:

It's Tops Coffee Shop

1801 Market St

San Francisco

(photos and love to come)

Customer Hall of Shame: Incident 3

2010-05-22T21:24:00.000-07:00

Customer Hall of Shame: Incident 3

Well...not technically an incident but worthy of shame nonetheless.

Many times a book will include supplemental bits. Kids books will have several sheets of stickers or paper dolls that can be pulled out. Crafting books will have patterns or cds with information.

If you are going to be a thief, at least go all the way.

Don't be ghetto. Don't half-ass the heist and only steal the supplemental bits. Really commit and take the whole thing.

Included in this, but more as an addendum I suppose:
Parents please please please do not let your child remove (read: destroy) the extra bits of the book unless you plan to purchase it. Who wants a sticker book with half the stickers missing or a paper doll whose clothes are torn and dogeared? Stop the vicious cycle of ill mannered people. Teach your children proper manners or else be sure they work retail before creating unleashing their own ill mannered spawn into the world.
Today I was looking through one of the embrodery books at the store and found that it was meant to include transfer papers for the patterns. Low and behold, no transfer papers. Patterns were there, book was there, no transfer papers. Really?

I do not condone shop lifting in any way. It is wrong to steal. Period.

To my Mother I give Thanks

2010-04-13T00:25:00.000-07:00

I know Mother's day is still relatively far away on the horizon... ish and that soon I will have the urge to find the perfect shirt, or hand/face unguent that will perfectly encompass and communicate my love for mi madre, but I just wanted to put this out there:

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you Mom for being so brilliant. Thank you for never depriving me of a book because it was a hard cover. Maybe this is a sign of my spoiled and comfortable upper middle class upbringing but I truly appreciate never having to wait for a book to come out in paper back. Thank you Mom.

Customer Hall of Shame #1

2010-01-21T00:07:00.000-08:00

Customer Hall of Shame #1
Blue = Customer
Purple = employee
Italics = Thoughts. Things that have to be kept within the confines of my mind but I really wish I could let them out

Section: Children's
Sex: Female
Age: Unknown
Mode of Transaction: Telephone
Incident:
"Hi. I'm looking for books for and 8 year old on Synagogues in China"
"Synagogues in China? I'm sorry. I don't think we have any children's books on that subject" Is this lady for real?
"Well, can you check?"
"Ma'am I know we don't have any books for children specifically about synagogues in China, or even on Judaism in China. Do you have any titles in mind? If there is a particular book you are looking for I can try to see if I can order it for you."
"Uuuch (sound of irritation in throat). No I don't know of any. You really don't have anything?"
"No. I'm afraid that Synagogues in China is not a very common topic, particularly for children. We have books on China and books on Judaism but nothing about Judaism in China."
"Well. Can't you look something up?"
-Searching on Amazon and Google. Only two or three ADULT books that look like sociological studies that have been published by university presses- "I've tried to look that subject up online but there are very few books about this subject and all of them appear to be for adults."
"Really? Well. I guess I'll have to take my business elsewhere."
You do that lady. You do that.

Zoom!

2010-01-20T23:42:00.000-08:00

Several months ago I was finally introduced to the picture book Zoom by Istvan Banyai, a Hungarian born American Illustrator.
Zoom is a wordless picture book that is one of those books that I am not particularly in love with but I will pick it up over and over again. Banyai plays with perception and perspective using illustrations that mimic that of a camera zooming out. Each page is a step further away and the reader (or is it viewer?) makes surprising discoveries. A farmyard turns out to be a toy set on a magazine cover and so on and so forth.

What made me think of Zoom... I love the NFB's (National Film Board of Canada) youtube channel. It is stocked with fantastic animation shorts, new and old. I spend hours glued to the computer watching their films, but more on that later.

I saw this film pop up in my subscription box:

Cosmic Zoom

It just got me thinking. There is something I find very fascinating about perspective. I don't think it has to do with some great epiphany of "oh how great is the universe and oh how small am I" or "oh how fine and simple are the building blocks of life". I've taken a science class in my life...these revelations are not exactly new. Yet, I find myself taken in by Banyai's book and this film. I don't particularly like the artwork or aesthetic of either one but I have to watch or read to the end of both.

Hmmm

On a more interesting note:

Check out the NFB's youtube channel. So beyond awesome: http://www.youtube.com/user/nfb

Also peruse the Tor's (Book publisher) Saturday Morning Cartoon blog. Irene Gallo posts alot of very unique and interesting animated shorts that are available to watch online. It is a dangerous and fantastic hole to fall into and waste time: http://www.tor.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=blog&id=9925

What about "Independent Book Store" = must have everything ever printed exactly when you want it?

2009-12-01T20:57:00.000-08:00

I will never understand the grumpy customers I have to deal with on the phone that ask for a book about WWI, then are irritated when I tell them that I haven't read it (do I sound like google library? Is it logical to assume that I have read every book that YOU like?), then berate me about our book availability. "You know I always want to buy from your store but you just never have what I want." or my favorite:

"I'm sorry it looks like it's out of stock"

"Well. That doesn't help me."

"I'm sorry. Would you like me to order a copy for you?"

"No. Why don't you ever have what I need?"

"I'm sorry..."

I mean, what am I supposed to say to that? The store has quite a good and broad selection for an indie and the staff will try its best to help you get the book you need. Please keep in mind the constraints of time, space, and the US Post. When you bring us a Transporter we will be able to instantly beam any book at your convenience.

Advice to consumers: If what you are looking for is a place where you can purchase any book, no matter how obscure, at any time. Shop at amazon. By the rules of the universe, no matter how hard this little bookstore tries it will never be able to have every book in an unlimited quantity. This store is not the planet library from Dr. Who....although I do wish we had a few Vashta Nerada to dispatch the more, shall we say, unpleasant customers.

What I am currently staring at blankly:

2009-08-29T15:26:00.001-07:00

The Alien Egg. It's my new obsession.

A week or so ago I made one of the most frivolous purchases in my life. More frivolous than the $200 purse (while expensive it is well constructed and useful). More frivolous than a dress, or false eyelashes, or the 88 color eyeshadow palette (I know I only have two eyes but the colors just look so exciting).

All of these items are totally unnecessary, but at least serve some sort of purpose. Purely decorative, but they do have a "use". This latest purchase is completely useless. It a big lump of glass. too round to be a paper weight and too fragile to much of anything else. it just sits by the window looking freaky and AWESOME. I could stare at this thing all day. In fact, that is all I did the several hours after I bought it. The light shines through it and it glows. Sometimes yellow, sometimes blue, purple, red....I haven't even seen it under colored light yet. The best part is that it is kind of like sea glass so you can't see straight through it. In fact, there is a weird, blobby looking mass at the center that could be something growing inside. Like I said, awesome.
If you want to pick up your own alien egg, I got mine at Paxton Gate on Valencia Street in San Francisco. A curiosity (but only dark, twisty, and endearing curiosities)/taxidermy shop that besides alien eggs, also offers scientific instruments, tea, and landscape design services along side the various animal heads and skeletons, both real and fictional. One of my favorite places in the city.

David Bowie and the Adult Asian Male

2009-08-24T23:53:00.000-07:00

So I have a theory... I hope I won't be hated for this or considered racist...oh, whatever I am Asian so I get a pass. So my theory is: Japanese people saw David Bowie in his Ziggy Stardust/Labyrinth years and they collectively thought, "This is it. This is the epitome of male beauty. This is the zenith of the male form. This is what we aspire to."
Don't get me wrong. David Bowie is hot. He's sexy. He's so gods-be-damned cool. Young, old, blonde hair, maroon hair, short hair, long hair, vertical stripped unitard, jeans, anything looks good on this man. Impossible to imitate, but still the young pop stars of Japan try.
Some photographic evidence to support my theory:

A fascinating "How to" video from Gatsby, a hair product company. There is something both entertaining and mesmerizing about watching this delicate model artfully muss his hair:

Here is an entire blog devoted to the very elaborate male Asian hairstyle. I love the title, "Asian Mullet".

http://asianmullet.blogspot.com/

Just a theory. Let me know what you think.

India Ink

2009-08-18T15:11:00.000-07:00

I like to trawl youtube for random how-to videos when I cam across this. I have always been interested in ink drawings but never really put in the effort to try. My sister and I braved the wilds and madness of downtown San Francisco to get to Pearl Fine Art Supply because I had to pick up some more photo emulsion for screen printing. While we were there I picked up some india ink on a whim and because I needed to try to make some drawings very opaque black. My scanner picks up all the uneveness in the marker-filled in silhouttes I have drawn and I have to go back in on photoshop and painfully (probably because I don't really understand photoshop) fill in all the gray areas. Any way, so for my first foray into ink drawing/razorblading this is what I've got:

I didn't have any razor blades handy so I used a rather crappy, dull exacto knife whose blades wouldn't screw inproperly so it was a bit wobbly too. So rather than skimming across the ink as drawman99 suggests I was gaudging it instead and sort of spinning the blade around. But on the whole I like the result. Next time I want to try adding a bit of color, perhaps with water color or colored pencil.

Favorites from the Golden Age

2009-08-16T00:00:00.000-07:00

I love fairy and folk tales. I love beautifully illustrated books of fairy and folk tales. Actually, add mythology and legend to that to. At around 7 or 8 years old I was obsessed, I mean OBSESSED with Greek mythology. I would bring Edith Hamilton's mythology everywhere. D'Aulaire's Book of Greek Myths was the bible.
Fast forward to now. While cleaning up at Kepler's, I came across a book full of awesome.
"Once Upon a Time...a Treasury of Classic Fairy Tale Illustrations"

It is full of beautiful pictures from the great artists of the "Golden Age of Illustration". So exciting! Especially after cleaning up the rather sad "fairy tale" section in the kids department. Beautiful stories are trapped in hideous...no worse, tacky books. So many little girls come in begging for a Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty book. Their parents are usually reluctant to scoop up the usual Disney version, or worse the spin off stories like:

Cinderella III: Twist in Time

Yes, I had to look inside. My soul bled, but I had to. I will say one thing...warning spoilers...The Stepmother steals the Fairy Godmother's wand and turns back time. Yep. True.

Another gem:

Make-Believe Bride

Evidently, Ariel has nothing better to do then dream about her wedding. What are we teaching our children?
I am not saying that I don't enjoy the movies. In fact I really enjoy them. Loved 'em as a kid, but it breaks my heart every time I show a little girl Kinuko Y. Craft's beautiful version of Cinderella and she looks at me confused or irritated or a combination of the two and says, "That's not Cinderella."

*The picture is a link to Kinuko Y. Craft's web page where she has some of the books illustrations posted. Definitely worth seeing. My personal favorite is "Cupid and Psyche". Gorgeous*

I like Disney just as much as anyone else, but I hate how it has lead to a homogenization of the way we see certain characters. It's like we're stunting an entire generation's imagination. Just think, the Little Mermaid didn't have a name nor did she have fire engine red hair and giant bangs, but every time you say "little mermaid" Ariel is likely to pop up first in a person's mind.

Enough ranting. The reason I wanted to post was to share 3 recent obsessions.

#1 Arthur Rackham
An English illustrator. Beautiful Beautiful Beautiful. Just look.

His illustrations are not just pretty, they are beautiful and they are also full of character and gorgeous lines.

#2 Edmund Dulac
I was introduced to Dulac paintings (although I didn't pay attention to who it was) through a very tiny "pocket library" of fairy tales. The images are so small, but still radiant. When I got "Once Upon a Time" I was able to see Dulac's illustrations more clearly. Stunning. Incredibly detailed, swooping lines and graceful figures, beautifully muted color palettes, the list could go on and on. I especially love that most of the characters seem slightly melancholic. It somehow makes them more and less real at the same time.

Gerda from Andersen's "The Snow Queen"
Who thought kissing reindeer could be so crushingly tender and beautiful?

#3 Kay Nielsen
A new and exciting discovery. Nielsen's painting are very strange. Oddly flat, but intensely ornate and graceful. My sister finds the rather effeminate men disturbing but I really love Nielsen's strange almost deco (I will probably get corrected on this) style.

Awesome.

Why don't they make fairy tale books with pictures like these any more? Why are there so many, SO many bad ones when there are such amazingly lovely ones that have been around for nearly a hundred years.

Go forth dear reader and experience the beauty of Rackham, Dulac, Nielsen, Dore, Goble, and company. Then spread the gospel.

Once upon...

2009-08-15T14:48:00.000-07:00

I have reluctantly joined the blogging circus. I now own my own little piece of cyberspace in which I can subject the world to my ramblings.

I have decided to use this blog to set down the fun and random things that surround my most recent creative projects.

I have started posting collages on etsy that are made from up-cycled pieces of fabric and paper that are inspired by fairy tales.

Some pictures from my etsy shop, Glackenschpack

Besides the mermaid, there is a stubborn princess, a harlequin and columbine duo, and my favorite King Midas.

Fable & Tale...a t-shirt line that has been in the works for a while now is slowly coming to fruition. I just spent a painful 200 dollars on blanks from a company called Alternative Apparel. American Apparel, the "sweat-shop free" blank clothing company sells similar items that are less expensive, but there is just something about their advertisements that makes me really uncomfortable. I feel like the models (male and female) have been violated directly before or after the photos were taken. Maybe its just me...

Ah, about the name. I have also enjoyed the word "ream" and it is very rare for me to be able to use it. I also found out that there is a traditional paper size called "elephant" and it measures 23" x 28". My sister's favorite animal is the elephant, mine is the zebra. I have always felt a little jipped. Just think of the number of times you can find just about anything in the shape of an elephant, or with elephants on it. Now think about the number of times you see a zebra (and no, zebra print doesn't count). Any ways, the first name was "Ream of Elephants" and I decided that "Ream of Zebras" was just as legitimate, if not more so. A small act of rebellion.

A small Post Script:
I had my very first sale on Thursday! A small Tanuki water color card I had painted a few months ago was bought at the hefty price tag of five, yep, count 'em five whole dollars. So exciting!